Welcome to the real world

Weird mullings part #2

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:00:03 GMT

To further irritate me, two things happened between the last post and now. Last night I had a dream and in it was the cutest baby ever, a baby girl and she was smiling and laughing, I was playing with her and having the best time ever. Of course, I know it doesn't mean that literally I'm pregnant and/or having kids any time soon. But I do find myself getting baby/kid obsessed. My coworker as the cutest grandson and I can't get enough of the pictures and I'm even excited to meet him. Whenever I see an adorable baby, I just melt and I don't know why! It's not that I want one, maybe because they are so cute and cuddely and most importantly, NOT MINE. LOL Another thing that happened today was another coworker announced that she got engaged last night. I was happy for her but I can't help feeling that all the single people are dropping like flies. LOL it seems that everyone is either getting married, just married, having kids, just had a kid, buying a house..when did everyone grow up? LOL In no way I'm feeling out of the loop but I can feel a little bit excluded..I can't talk to them about what my baby did today or how hard it is to find a new house, yada yada. But in one aspect I'm glad I'm not doing all of that, I can do what I want with my life without answering to anybody. At this point I can't see myself with someone and having to go thru them before making a decision...like if I wanna go on a group trip without him, I'm not feeling bad about leaving his ass..and I don't want to be those people that are thisclose to their S/O..so in all I think I have a pretty sweet as life. LOL

I left my heart in Greece.....

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 01:15:15 GMT

So my trip to Greece can be summed up in one word: AMAZING!!! I knew that I'd had a blast but this was just my ideal trip and I still can't believe I was actually there!
The first day I arrived in Athens and I met other poeple in my group--there was a total of 85 people on our trip!! I was shocked there were so many people, but the first group was already at the hotel. I had met up with Ashley in London so it was cool to know someone who'd be there. Once we got on the bus we were introduced to our tour guides Apostolos and Shemi. They explained a little bit about Athens, our hotels, and our trip. We arrived at the Candia Hotel and met the rest of our group and got a complimentary drink of ouzo...so nasty!!
There are so many things that I have seen and done I don't know if I could write them all! My highlights were walking around Athens, seeing the Acropolis up close and personal, petting the very cool and relaxed stay dogs in the city, hanging on the boats en route to the Greek Isles, ATV'ing with Ashely on the island of Ios, watching the sunset with a crowd at Santorini, dancing the night away at the Flamer, Club 69 both in Ios and the Scandinavian Bar at Mykonis, eating gyros, greek salad, baklava, Greek wine, fruit, snacks, etc all over the place, relaxing on the beach, being shocked of the naked (and not so good looking) people on parts of the beach, swimming in the ocean (with my lifejacket on LOL) over to the hot springs, wearing my bathing suit, flip flips, and sunscreen nonstop, watching traditional Greek dancing--and participating in it! I met tons of people, danced the night away, chilled and did absouletly nothing and everything at the same time. I really had a blast and it was sad coming home, I want to go again!!!

Pomp and circumstance

Mon, 19 May 2008 02:15:46 GMT

I finally made it! Today was graduation and it was just awesome. Woke up around 5:00 am, got dressed and went to pick up my grandma. Got to campus around 7:30 so we spent the time taking pictures. Then I had to go to my room and chilled with the other graduates. A funny moment was when I was talking to someone else about what we were wearing and I had a black long sleeved shirt from NY&C that's pretty old, but it's cute and has sparkles. Kathryn sees my shirt and she's like OMG i'm like, "What?" She takes off her gown and she has the same exact shirt! What the heck are the chances? LOL
The ceremony itself was pretty good, except that the guest speaker was a little preacher. Before I knew it, it was our time to go up, a little nervous but happy that I made it. My parents gave me some flowers which was nice, then we ate outside thank god it didn't rain! Last time when I graduated it rained and it was not fun. I met up with some people I haven't seen in awhile, then we headed back to godfather's for some food and good time. I took a little nap since I was so tired, then watched the Celtics game which was never wracking. We were up by 10 points then Cleveland came back, then it came down to the wire, but we won by 5 so yay!!
Now tomorrow my mom and I have to drop my brother off to volunteer, then we gotta to go his school to pay his tuition, I gotta stop at walgreens and best buy, come back home so Larry can fix my car, etc. I will probably go get my nails and feet done early Tuesday morning. I still can't believe that I'll be going to Greece in two days!!!!!!!

I'm DONE!!!

Tue, 13 May 2008 01:24:52 GMT

THANK GOD I AM DONE!! lol This thesis has really killed me and I never thought I'd see the light of another day. LOL But tonight I had my presentation and it was better than expected, it was some people from my seminar class and some faculty, and it was pretty good. Ahh, it feels so good to be done with something and getting it accomplished! So Wednesday I have graduation practice in the morning, meeting murray for a last minute thesis stuff, then Kathryn and I are off to the mall to shop till we drop. Thursday night is the hooding ceremony and then Sunday is graduation, tuesday is GREECE!!! yay!!

Happy (25th) Birthday to Me!!!

Thu, 08 May 2008 01:26:49 GMT

Wow, where did the time go? Wasn't it last year I was celebrating my 24th b-day? God, I'm so damn old. LOL Today was actually a pretty good day even though it didn't feel like my birthday. It was beautiful outside and it was also our volunteer day at work. We went to an assistant living place near Ruggles station and the people were very nice. They showed us around the area and we got to work pulling weeds, planting things, picking up debris, etc. Usually at home I wouldn't be caught dead working outside, but I was pretty excited about the whole thing and I wanted to do even more. I really like the feeling of accomplishing something and helping people out, even if it is just some yardwork. The people were impressed and we have 4hrs of community service left so it would be nice to come back.
After that my brother and I went to the Abington Alehouse, got my steak as usual and stuffed my face in like there's no tomorrow. Good food! I still have some left over which I'll eat later this week. Also got some birthday wishes and presents from my family and friends, which is also good. So, next week is my presentation of my thesis, graduation practice, and before you know it my trip!! Can't wait to go and can't believe it flew by so fast.
Yesterday my brother and I went to the Celtics/Cavaliers playoff game and it was crazy! First of all to get the tickets was a hassel..when we won the game against Atlanta tickets went on sale the same day and they were rediculously priced--$100 each for plain old $18 tickets!! So pissed. Then I had to pick them up at the Onyx hotel which I thought was strange and shady to me. There was a little booth where Stubhub.com had a stack of tickets and they verified your info and they gave you the tickets. Everything worked out fine and the game was awesome, just that heading back there was a ton of drunk white guys that annoyed me, then we didn't get home until a quarter to one so I'm suffering the effects from it now. lol But all in all a good game.
So that is it, a great way to start off the week, an awesome birthday. Next up, graduation and GREECE!!

I don't even have time to breath!!

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:57:00 GMT

Something tells me I'm really gonna be busy the next couple of months! All I can think about is going to Greece--which I FINALLY paid in full, yay!--that I've realized I'm so fucking behind on my thesis. I got royally screwed when I found out yes, I had to take thesis and seminar in order to graduate..the last time I checked Dr. Murray said no but as usual, I got screwed. So I thought, great I'll take seminar, learn the tricks of the trade and then do the same thing with my thesis. The seminar class is really cool and actually it's a step by step process and showed you how to really do a research paper. The only bad thing is that Dr. Murray emailed me complaining she hasn't seen me in about six weeks and the thesis is due in April, oh and remember that it has to be reviewed by another teacher at Regis! First of all, she didn't tell me that last part so I e-mailed Dr. Smailes and he said that was ok so I'm cool with that. Second of all, it's hard for me to find a time to drive down there and meet her, i was gonna suggest next week but they have vacation so it'll probably be the end of March and I really hope that when I get to see her she won't think my thesis is a piece of shit and tell me I'm screwed. So that means I'll be spending my Saturday mornings/afternoons at the Regis library, putting my ass on lockdown at every minute doing this damn project..sheesh...
So it's been a year that I've been at HPHC..a year! And the more I learn the more I get screwed. it seems I get reminded every damn time that I'm doing something wrong or a member will call and piss me off. I'm trying hard not to fuck things up cuz I need this job but I'm going crazy. As for the job search I'm still stuck on what I want to do, so there's no point going on the search engines looking for a person that is willing to relocate to whatever for a job when I don't know what I want. ::sigh::
On a good note, re-signed up with WW but it's a work..the meetings are at Thursdays at 12:45 which suck since if my lunch is at 12 i can only stay for fifteen minutes, if it's at 1:00 i'm ok only miss 15 minutes of the class. I'm determined to get to my goal weight by May which is like 2lbs a week. I want to fly and sexy for that shit!!
Nothing much than that now heading off to bed and waking up for a lovely time at work in the morning....

He's Just Not into You

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:41:26 GMT

So yesterday was Valentine's Day and after spending a couple of hours drinking and singing Kelis's "Caught Out There" and Keyshia Cole's "Shoulda Let You Go/Let It Go", I had picked up "He's Just Not Into You at the library and I finally saw the light about this bastard. IF he was into me he'd call me. So what if he lives 1,000+ miles away? He'd take time out of his day and call me. No one is that fucking busy to NOT pick up a phone but he's available to text me sexy stuff but not pick up the phone and call? IF he was into me he WOULDN'T SAY I'M NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP...READ I AM NOT INTO YOU. IF he was into me he'd ask about my life not pop in and out. Fuck, I'm such an idiot. I wasted so much $$ on that bastard to fly out and see him, and for what? A quick jump in the sack and fly back home? Oh he was slick with his gentleman like ways but it was all bull. If you don't like me, tell me so I don't waste my time!
So here's what I did..I deleted all the emails I recevied from him, I ripped up the picture I had of him and me, I'm even contemplating deleating him from my Facebook. LOL I will not sit and wait for him to realize he likes me. What has he been doing? Running around having a good time, he doesn't care and why should I? How has he shown his appreciation of me? Nothing. So it's done and I feel pretty fucking fabulous. It's time for me to out there and find a real man!
So I'm off to Motreal. LOL

If we took a holiday....

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:22:03 GMT

I had a pretty good three day weekened (yay for MLK! lol). Saturday I did some errands with my mom like go to the Post office, wal-mart, etc and then went to work. Yesterday was work and then we headed to godfather's house to watch the Pats game--which we won muthafuckers!! lol It was a pretty good game, i wasn't worried that we wouldn't win since we're the best out there. I felt bad for those players out in the cold, then I'm like, hey they get paid shitloads of money to throw a damn ball, i don't feel sorry for them! lol
This morning I got up early and headed over to the Wrenthum outlets which I haven't been for in awhile, it wasn't crowded which was great. And the deals were insane! I first went to banana republic, got a pair of jeans--size 10 so excited!! ;-). Oh, also one of those polyester tops that was like 3 bucks and a cute sleeveless black top for 3 bucks as well. Sweet! Also went to the gap where I got a long sleeved v-neck top and jeans (size 12 because they were those darned long and lean but they were flared and low waist) total of 12 bucks!! And for the grand finale went over to Coach thinking I would just go there and look at stuff, i got this read coach bag that was originally 200.00 bucks, it was 130.00 then with extra %30 off, I'm thinking it'll come to $110.00 it came to like $95.00! Sweet! lol I LOVE sales!! Then we were tired so we went to the 99 restaurant.
Now I'm home and not looking forward to go back to work, school starts this week and it's fucking cold as hell. LOL Speaking of work, I got a book from the library that talks about travel jobs. I was flipping through it and it really opened my eyes to the possibilities. For example, I can work at Club-Med doing anything pratically. Room and board is included so you're just at the place working 24/7. The good thing is that it'll be in Florida or even the Carribean/Mexico, room and board is included and everyone is having a good time. I'm just worried if i got there will I like it and how about my car, can I just drive it there and let it stay for X amount of months without the hassle of transporting driver's liscense and stuff? hmmm..And I don't know what the pay is, I am going to have a Master's shouldn't I get something that is higher pay and a better standard? At the same time I should take risks because I'm young and it's all about figuring stuff out. I can go there, it might be a failure but at least I did it instead of saying shoulda, woulda, coulda. The worst thing is NOT taking the chance and being at the same place I am.
Speaking of taking chances, it's been 3 weeks and nothing from him and you know what? I'm fine about it really. Sure, if he did call me I'd probably be pissed and let him have it, but I'm like we were never together, nothing was set in stone and hey, shit happens. I don't regret anything that happened between us, but I know that we can never be and I'm fine with that. He has his own life in Texas, I have my own life in Massachusetts. Maybe we'll see each other but we'll stay as friends, visiting each other and having sex will only complicate things. Besides, I want to be with someone who wants to be with ME!
That's about it..next vaca won't be until President's day..my mom is thinking for my brother's winter vaca he'll go to Canada and find out some info about schools there. It was funny because I was suggesting that to my brother at the same time. That way he can brush up on his French, he'll be living rent free at grandma's house and be around his relatives. The thought is that if he gets his passport in time he'll go up there by himself and when I have my 3 day weekend I'll come up there and we'll head back together. So we'll see..
Now that is really it..peace out....

it's the same old song...

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 04:05:10 GMT

Haven't been here in awhile, I've been busy with work and homework. Speaking of homework I should be doing my 15-20 pg lit review, ha! lol

So today's thanksgiving, just got back from godfather's a few minutes ago and I'm stuffed like a pig. Ate like there was no tomorrow and got really sleepy. It was nice having the family around, ya know?

Wednesday at work we got to leave early at 3pm and it was like a mass exodus. lol I was tired from the night before so it was great getting out early, stopped at Walgreen's for some last minute stuff and headed home. I checked my phone and surprise surprise, it was a text from Charles? See what I'm talking about with him being so random? When I least expect him to do something he does it which frustrates and gets me all hot and bothered at the same time. lol For example it wasn't a simple text it was a picture download so i'm like oh no, here we go again with another dick picture. Nope, it was a dancing elf mooning me! lol Had to laugh at that shit i was like wtf does that mean? lol I texted him saying hmmm, didn't know u liked it up the ass? He was like, yeah I like it up ur ass. LOL I asked him what was up, he was having realtives up for Thanksgiving which was nice, i wasn't sure if he was spending it along or anything. Nursing was getting to him and I was like ud better not stress urself out or i'm gonna have to suck u off. He was like yeah or break ur back lol he was also saying only if he could cum in my mouth..im like whatever but remember better to give then receive do i get a dick in a box for xmas? he goes u just might get that LOL

So last night I had a dream i planned to see him for a quick weekend but my mom was there in the dream distracting me by doing errands and I didn't go. So frustrating! When I think it's done with he does something and throws me for a loop. I def feel that he likes me so we're gonna see what happens. The only problem is that 1) i miss him like crazy 2) i'm horny like crazy and did i mention I was missing him like crazy and i was horny? And these damn songs don't help..neither reading Zane books. LOL The good thing is that I have work and homework to keep me busy but then I find myself daydreaming about him. He's going to Jamaica for 3 weeks in december that bastard. lol What I'm worried is that we're just going to fall thru, i mean when are we going to see each other again? i'd go to texas with no problem, he can come up here and that'd be cool but at least in texas i can be totally comfortable. But on the other side I can't control how it'll go..maybe we'll just be friends, maybe something more, maybe we'll never see each other again. I'm just going to have to do something that I have a hard time doing: wait.

thinking of the future....

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 02:12:36 GMT

It's funny how I'm stressing about work, school and stuff but i still have time to worry about the future! lol First of all, this semester is killing me, mostly becuase I still don't have a car and going back and forth is taking its toll. Also the fact that Weintraub loves to fill us with as much stuff as possible and I ask myself over and over why I'm taking her classes..

Also the fact that last semester I asked Murray if I had to take seminar and thesis class to get my Masters and she said no, one or the other..fast foward to now and she sends me an email saying, yes in the spring semester I'm going to have to take both in order to get my Master's...

Also the fact I'm trying to get a new car but it's going nuts finding one and going through that damn process again..

Also the fact that I was thinking of what the hell of a job I want to do with my masters..i love to learn new things and travel, so I was thinking of teaching English in a foreign country. The only problem is that they probably don't pay much, I still have bills (and loans) to pay, and even if it all goes through, am I gonna be comfortable living in a country for 6months to a year (actually, yes! LOL)

Also the fact a certain someone hasn't contacted me and I should've seen the light but just like a fool I keep on holding on to false hope...

so...yeah..LOTS of thinking....

startling revelations...

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 01:28:51 GMT

This week I've been reading a book about Quarterlife Crisis and damn, it' s changed my life. lol before I was freaking out about what the hell was I doing with my life, why am I so unhappy, when is everything going to turn up for me, etc. I read this book and it said it was ok, everyone goes through this and I just have to find out what makes me happy. After writing some things down that make me happy I came across some things: I love to learn about new cultures and people, I love to travel, and I want to help people. Just like that, put those three together and you come up with: INTERNATIONAL SOCIAL WORKER.

::instert fanfare::

And all it took was the reading a book. I have then decided on how am I going to do that. What cause will i go for? How am I going to build that up now so I will get the job? Will I have to go to grad school? The first thing I'm going to do is look for a weekend job that helps with the community and/or with children. I still like healthcare so maybe a volunteer at a local clinic, who knows? I will have the experience which will count for something. Next maybe during the winter vacation I will take a quick crash course in Spanish. I think that learning a second language will help me out. Then I have another choice to do: the first would be to get a Master's in Social Work. They have many colleges in MA that offer it, but my concentratio will be International Social Work. The only problem is that it's shitloads of money, a 3yr program, and yeah takes time. The good side is the experience and they do offer an International trip with Boston College to other places. If I didn't want to do that, I was randomly on the web and fell upon the Fulbright Program..you basically get to go around the world, help people, study, live, work with them, even have a project to do. It sounds awesome,the deadline is October 17th, we have a Fullbright Rep at Regis named Dr. Vetterling. The only problem is that it's from 9-12 months! It would be awesome but how would I pay my bills? Wouldn't I get homesick? It sounds like an awesome opportunity but I need to stay here. However, it's a great opportunity so I might as well take a chance.
And speaking of revelations..still think about Charles. Don't know what to think, I've overanalized it so I guess only time will tell, right?

So greatful to be alive..

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 22:56:36 GMT

I am still in shock that it happened and I'm pretty much speechless. But I am SO thankful that I'm alive and no one else has been hurt. When it happens to you there's pretty much nothing you can do before reality sinks in. I was driving on my way to Regis to pick up Kathryn. We were gonna head to Suzy's and surprise her and take her to a surprise B-day party. I'm driving on the left lane, make sure there's no car coming, decide ok gonna change lanes, I'm about 1/3rd there and this black car is literally next to me. I freak out and try to get back in my lane, lose control of the car, probably did a 360 and end up on the right side hitting the guardrail. I must have sat there in shock for a few minutes and then I pressed my emergency lights on, but still in shock. A woman rushed to me, making sure that I was ok, then this really nice guy came up to me and asked if I was all right and advised me to get out of the car. I'm still in shock, looking at my car, not believing this happened. He calmed me down and the police came and did their usual shit. I thanked the guy, I was all right but I still couldn't believe it. Thank god my car didn't turn over, or I wasn't ejected (I was wearing my seatbelt) or that I didn't hurt anyone. To make a long story short I was able to get the car towed back home and it's sitting in my yard. I then called my insurance people and they are gonna get an agent to call me this week about it, then hopefully have an appraisal person come and see about the car...it looks like shit. LOL From the back, it looks perfectly fine! The hood of the car is ok, a little pressed in, the tires on the driver side are flat, the left light is smashed in, the front is literally hanging...but the car did start a bit but there could be something wrong with the transmission, something is leaking don't know what it could be..as much as I am pissed I am so greatful to be alive--I could have died and that would've been it. It's going to be annoying to see how much this is gonna cost me, but it's my responsibility. I'm just in shock........

Finally got some sense knocked into me....

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:53:43 GMT

So I'm done moping like a little schoolgirl. Cuz frankly, this shit is boring and gonna drive me nuts. LOL I've come up with a few realizations, I know I've said em before and promised myself to change but this time it's gotta be for real:

1) HE IS UNDER NO ONBLIGATION TO TEXT/EMAIL/CONTACT ME: That's probably one of the biggest things to overcome. When you're with someone and they do (or don't do) something I overanalyze the shit of if it. Example, I sent a text last night, was mad he never got back to me. I need to get over it because hey we're not together and there's a million reasons why he hasn't answered back. He's busy with school, he hasn't gotten a chance to get back to me, whatever. Just because we hung out and had great sex doesn't mean he's obligated to drop everything and give me his full attention. When you're using technology to communicate a lot of things can be misinterpretated.

2) YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO BOY FEELS SO YOU CAN'T MAKE SHIT UP, YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT FROM HIS MOUTH: I don't know how he feels, i cannot intepret them thru body language, horoscopes, whatever. He even told me himself he has trouble expression himself, I'm so used to words instead of actions. I looked back and noticed that yet, he's into me. Is he going to say it? Who knows, it has to come from him, it can't be forced and no psychic named Cleo will tell me.

3) HE ISN'T THE ONLY FISH IN THE SEA: I'm listening right now to Brian Mknight's "The Only One for Me". Ok, love the song but let's get serious, there could be tons of guys out there who are 10x better than Charles, so why would I not give them a chance? Because I'm hoping on the fact that he will realize how awesome I am and want me to be his GF? Uh, no. I'm sure he's in TX right now getting some, we're not exclusive so that's it.

4) ACT LIKE A GUY: What I mean is play it cool. The last thing he needs is a girl constantly texting/email/calling him all the time. Play it cool. If he contacts me, give a few minutes or even hours before you get back. Just let it ride and see what happens.

And you know, i think he really does like me, it goes through in action. I mean, he wouldn't invite a girl who he thought was just a good travel buddy--TWICE--to stay at his house and have sex with her. He wouldn't just be all affectionate and cute and talk about stuff with someone he just met. He wouldn't play Brian Mcknight on the night a girl was gonna lose her virginity, or sing along to Beyonce and Luther's "The Closer I Get to You" while having sex (I mean come on, we know what the song means!!), or drop the OTHER "L" word in a conversation (I believe it was in the context of..."I like you.."..woah!). Yeah, he's sprung.

So I'm gonna chill be blissfully unaware of his existence, get my shit together and relish in the fact that he might like me too.....

getting my shit together....

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 01:51:15 GMT

Ok, so for the past couple of days I've realized that I need to get my shit together. I'm talking about money wise and future wise. I was looking at what I'm earning and expenses and it's shocking at how everything just windles away. I've decided that I had enough of Walgreen's and I need a weekend job that will give me more. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of weekend only jobs that are NOT retail--I checked on line and looked in the papers. I'm hopefully going for working in the hospital, I applied about a week ago to a position at Brockton hospital for working in the radiology department as an office helper, Sundays only but I figure they'll pay more than what Walgreen's is paying. I called the HR department last week and they said after two weeks they look at the applicants and will give me a call for an interview if I make it. Yeah, right. So I checked online, that position is gone and I'm gonna call them tomorrow and see what's up. Otherwise I'm looking at stuff..
I also applied to be an EF College Break campus PR person. They are the people I went on my trip with and basically I'd be spreading the word around BSC and Regis. I then realized wouldn't it make it more conveinent if I lived on campus, also the fact that I wouldn't be graduating next year? It's a lot of work and I'm not sure but we'll see what happens with that.
Speaking of Bridgewater State, much bigger than Regis! I had no problem getting there, it's just manuvering around campus is a bitch. Everything is all spread out and I didn't do the things I wanted to do. since I'm only gonna be on campus once a week I have to rush around and do things. My professor is ok, a little anal about exactly what he wants, but it looks interesting. It's funny because I'm one of out two people that are grads taking the class, I feel a little old! lol
Today after work I headed to the gym for some kickboxing and it kicked my ass. #1, there was no ac so that made it hotter and the workout was insane. For some crazy reason I like the harder it is and challening myself! I must've sweated off a tons of pounds, never sweated that much! I'm getting back on track with my weight goal, trying to reach an additional 6lb loss to get to an even #. But you know what I realized? Since I've joined the gym about two years ago and joining WW a few months ago, I've lost almost 40lbs!! I feel great, look great and I can see it. So if the scales goes up a bit I won't beat myself up about it, I just move on and work harder.
The week is almost over and the weekend is pretty much a quite one--working out, going to work and doing homework..yeah work is mentioned 3x in that! So busy. LOL And I think it's good cuz I won't worry about you know him..give him a chance to miss me..lol

I had the best weekend EVER!!! (JT and ish)....

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 22:37:53 GMT

Holy shit what an awesome weeked!!! It all started on Friday and I was just dying to get out of work and head to the JT show. I finally booked it outta there and decided to drive into Boston. First time doing that I was a little nervous but it was actually pretty great. Got a parking sport near the FleetCenter and met Suzy and Missy there. Then when I got my seats they were VIP GA where I could literally touch the stage, awesome! My other friend Shanita was there with her cousin but on the other side and we just chatted at how awesome it was that we were that close. Good Charlotte opened up and they were pretty good, they came on early and were on for about a half hour. JT came on stage a few minutes later and rocked it--I got to touch him twice!! What I didn't realize was that Timbaland was back which meant he'd have a little show while JT took a break. The DJ for Timbaland I met in Manchester was there and when he got on stage and looked at me, he pointed me out and shook his head as if to say, "I can't believe you're here!". LOL I had joked with him back in March that I would see JT in Europe and he said if that was true he'd let me meet him. Yeah right but it was cute. After he got off stage we chatted for a bit and I asked him is there any way I can just take a pic with JT and say hello. He told me that security is tight and he can't even get his family to meet him. It was all good and the show was awesome. Afterwards I was passing by where the tour buses where and he was there and called out to me. He said there might be an after party, but I wasn't sure if I was gonna go. I checked with Shanita and she said he said the same thing. I hung out with Suzy and Missy around the 7/11 and then decided to head on home. He texted me saying I could come to the Tremont hotel but I was like nahhh. I got home and crashed into bed and got up the next morning. I wasn't really thinking of going to Mohegan Sun to see JT in CT but I was determined to go--not only go but to get VIP GA seats again. I checked on ticketmaster but they were sold out and I was freaking out. I then went on Ebay and a seller had two of them for $400. Now this is like at 7:30 AM in the morning and I email him asking if he's willing just to sell the one for me, and he agreed!! They were e-tickets so I just printed them off my computer. After work I got my shit together and drove straight to CT. I had my directions and only got lost like twice but finally made it there. I got my wristband and was escorted to the area. By then I knew where to stand to get maximum JT coverage. lol After GC was on again I saw Steve but he didn't see me because he was talking to another friend. I called him and I say, "Look to your left." He sees me, smiles and says, "stalker alert!" LOL He comes up to me and tells me that they went to some club in Boston but that was about it since he was tired. I mention if I could see JT or just tell him I said hi and no, i'm not crazy. LOL I mentioned to him I'm going to the Montreal show and he's like, "Damn you must have a lot of money!" Anyways, JT is doing his thing and during his 3rd song I know he comes over to our section but wasn't sure if it would be where I was. Before I know it, he has his guitar and walks over to me and kneels down right there! I'm freaking out inside but I got to touch him, so surreal! The show contines and I see Steve again after Timbaland was on, I mention if he told JT I said hi and he said he was, "working on something." I'm like what does that mean? So it's near the end of JT's set and I practically know what part of the stage he goes now. So I'm chilling and singing along, then JT comes from the other side of the stage, come straight to me and let's me--only me--grab his hand! I'm thinking are you freaking kidding me? This is insane! All these girls are trying to get his attention and giving me dirty looks it was awesome. LOL So the show ends and I have my mapquest, ready to get on home. So I make it pretty good until I hit MA and for some reason I end up in Dighton? I'm like what the fuck? I end up in Taunton which is two cities near my house, I have to stop at a closed Mobile station where the guys are waxing the floor. They tell me to go 44 East, which I do, then on my way I see a 24 hour Mcdonalds--yes!! Im like can I have a Mchicken and they're like no more. I'm like fuck what about a cheeseburger? They don't make damn cheeseburgers after 1. I have to settle for a disgusting chicken nuggets which I couldn't eat cuz they were so gross and threw them out. I finally made it back home around 2:30, my ears ringing, tired as hell but pretty damn proud of myself.

Oh yeah, I rule.....

a change will do you good

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 01:59:18 GMT

Today was strange since I didn't have work today. LOL I got up this morning and went to my WW meeting--lost another 1.2lbs! Woo-hoo! So my total loss is 12lbs and I'm 6lb from 10% and 18lbs from my goal. I really feel the change, for example last summer I didn't even think of wearing a swimsuit and shorts were very very long and a rare occurance. Now I bought a swimsuit and the shorts are all the time (well, during the weekend LOL). I like that my stomach is getting smaller and I can--gasp--see muscles? My arms are toned and my hips are..well, they're getting smaller but not quick enough for me. But I try to put things in perspective--when was the last time I lost 12lbs this quick? And when was the last time I was at this weight, felt good and confident about myself? So I feel pretty damn proud.
Finally got my hair done, it was a mess and needed help. She basically had to cut it because it was bad and now it's really short and..kinda cute. It's something that I have to get used to. I just wasn't born to have long hair and that's fine by me! The only thing was that it was majorly expensive, ouch! After that my mom and brother went car hunting for me and then I saw my car! So what they are going to do is a credit check and i'll know by Monday!! yay!! She wanted me to get the 2004 Mazda, didn't like it so whatever.
The mall was good, got some great deals and bought my Harry Potter book yay! Read the first chapter and it's amazing so far. Now I'm at home getting ready to watch a movie. So yeah, I did call Charles today and left a message, I do feel that I'm all under him so I challenged myself not to call him for a whole week starting Sunday. You know the saying absense makes the heart grow fonder? Well it better grow a freakin tumor when I'm done with it!

Best week ever? I think so!!!!

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 04:04:33 GMT

It started like any other Friday..I worked until 5:30 trying to get the fuck out of the job and I was waiting for the train. I decided to swtich my music to Kiss108 and they had JT say call to win tickets. I was like what the hell, why not? The first time couldn't get through, second time no luck. Third time I try and the girl answers, I'm like what caller am I? She says 25. I go what # were you looking for? She says 25! Eee!! After freaking out and looking like a psycho on the streets, I give my info so I won tickets! yay! And they even announced my name on the radio, how cool is thta? For weeks I've been trying to get tickets and I finally get them!!!
And yeah..I'm crushing hard on this boy. I have a few days off in August so maybe see him? I dunno we'll see....

advice from a stetchy psychic

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 02:05:59 GMT

Who knew that talking to a psychic could be funny as shit?

I was still confused about Charles's weird texts so I decided what the hell lemme call a psychic! it's one of those specials where for a few minutes u get for a price. So I call and she asks my DOB and his. I swear, all this stuff she was asking about and telling me felt like she was reading from a horosope. She'd ask me questions like does he have a job, do you come from two different backgrounds, all the stuff u see in him u see in urself, yada yada. Then she went wayy of base saying--maybe true--he's not ready for a relationship--and since I'm looking for a HUSBAND and I'm ready to settle down. Man, i couldn't stop laughing inside--I'm only 24 years old and she thinks I want to get married to this guy? What was she thinking? I felt like she was pressuring me for me to think her way. Funny as hell.

So I feel ten times better about this situation. I don't want to be in a relationship with this guy because it isn't going to happen and we're just not compatable. We can still be friends and chat and that's it, cuz I'm done being a little sad schoolgirl pining away for some guy who will never be availble to me. Whatever, if I wanted to pine, I'd pine for Justin Timberlake.

So Charles: screw you. You make me sick.

But I think you're a great kisser.

::feels much better::

some planning to do..

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 01:03:42 GMT

recently, i've been thinking about my job and what i really want to do. As much as I love HPHC I don't imagine seeing myself there forever. And listening to people bitch and moan all day isn't cutting it. Also thinking that I really need to get paid more and save money for my classes, car insurance, and hopefully even my new apartment. I'm aiming for May of 2008 once i return from the Greek Isles--yes, I loved EF College Break so much that I'm going with them again! First I have to save money and see what happens. I was thinking at first with a roomie but I don't know anyone who needs one and I'd have to be close friends with them first. I'd rather then just live by myself if that can work.
I've realized I want to work in humanitarian work--something where I'm right there doing the work and getting my hands dirty. My trip to Peru was amazing and I had so much fun doing it. I've looked online but the only things that come up are Peace Corps and Habitat for Humanity. I want to volunteer and get PAID doing it. It would be awesome if there was a job where they pay you and fly you out to different places. Who knows, maybe teaching children to learn English? I have no qualms about working outside of the country, it will give me time to know who I really am and make a difference. Hmm...
Nothing much else is going on so peace out.

decisions, decisons..

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 01:40:57 GMT

This saturday I went to my WW meeting and I was up 0.8lbs. It doesn't sound major, but to me, any kind of weight gain sucks. I hadn't been able to go the gym this past week so I am rededicating myself to things. I looked at my food journal and I realized that when I am stressed I eat the not so great foods. So that day I went over to Wal-Mart and picked up some health substitutes. I am also going to drink more water and make sure I go to the gym as much as possible. I have a goal and I want to get there, there's nothing going to stop me. Losing 8lbs is great, considering I've tried everything else in the book, this is the easiest and it makes sense. I'm gonna see what happens.
Also good news is that my dad paid off the car we're sharing and he offered to sell it to me for about $500 bucks. As soon as i get my money together it's going to be MINE. Can't wait for that! It makes the most sense because I don't have tons of cash right now and buying a new/used car would just makes things more stressful for me.
Speaking of stressful, I was at Wal-Mart last morning and decided to try their blood pressure monitors. A couple of months ago at my job they had those free semiars where they weight you and check your blood pressure. Needless to say it was high--really high. I was shocked because I thought I was somewhat healthy. But high blood pressure is a silent killer and it runs in my family. Regardless of what you weigh, it can happen to anyone. The people that took it that time suggested I go visit my doctor. At first I was in denial, thinking they did it wrong and it was all a bunch of bull. When i took my reading it was 140/80 which is basically prehypertension. Eeek. I'm guessing the big reason why is stress. What I'm going to do is schedual my annual check-up with my doctor and see what's going on. It's funny because I've told my parents about this and they roll their eyes because they think a young woman with two jobs, goes to school part time, pratically has no social life, is annoyed daily by the irritating parents that she has, wouldn't have stress. High blood pressure does run in my family and it's up to me to take care of myself.
Then there is the issue with Charles. I have challenged myself not to call, e-mail, text or any other form of commuication with him for the whole week. Why is this? Not to prove that I CAN do it but it's at a point of self-realization. The whole falling for someone is good but it's annoying and stressful. I'm sick of walking around thinking if he has feelings for me or not. If he did then wouldn't he call me or say otherwise? Granted we're not exclusive, we're just two people who met on a trip and had a good time--we have no obligations to each other. We don't have to keep in contact 4/7, heck we could stop talkin to each other altogether. We don't know much about each other, how do I know that he isn't some psycho? What does he know about me and would he even like to know? I can only over-analyze so much that I just have to stop. And honestly, if everything goes smoothy what would we be but a long distance relationship? Those hardly work out and I don't think I'd like that. So in short I'm gonna just let it ride....

stop and think about it..

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:59:14 GMT

I've decided that I've gotten way out of hand. I need to stop analyzing this situation and take it par for the course. Nothing is set in stone, there were no transactions, no words set, just take it as is! I'm so used to planning things ahead that I get so rushed up in the moment and I'm greatly dissapointed in the end. If it comes out right, awesome I'll be the happiest girl in the world. If it doesn't at least I had fun, right? So little communication with this person, just see where it leads me, get over it and just keep myself busy until it happens. Easier said than done...

ready, set, go!

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 01:32:18 GMT

So I talked--well actually texted--charles saying if it was ok to fly in on those dates to see him. He said sure and to email the times I would be flying in so he would know when to pick em up. He also said he was excited for me to be coming and show me around. ::insert dreamy sigh::

a funny thing happened on the way to Paris...

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:02:45 GMT

You know how when you're just enjoying things and suddenly it becomes all topsy turvey? It's called life. For the past couple of weeks I've been walking around with my head in the clouds. Lemme explain.
Before I went on my trip I was excited of going, being away far from everyone else where you can just be yourself. I even joked with myself, heck I'm going to be in Paris I might even fall for someone! I must be psychic cuz that's EXACTLY what happened.
It's funny because I wasn't actively searching for anyone. I was completely content being single and enjoying life. Sure, I was a little down sometimes when I see a couple together or when Valentine's Day came around, but I got over it. So when we get to Amsterdam, there's a group of 30-something of us. Since I was a single traveler, I immediatly became friends with a couple of girls from Miami. For the two days in Amsterdam I hung with them going shopping and the finer things in Amsterdam. The next day we headed to Paris but made a stop in Brussels. By the time we got to Paris it was late at night and we all wanted to go somewhere to party. And that's when I met Charles.
Charles is 28 from Texas. He's a cutie and he kind of reminds me of Xhibit from pimp my ride. LOL We're walking around trying to find a club and most of the clubs are a cover charge. It's funny walking around in Paris because strangers will come up to you and start talking. It felt somewhat comforting, especially since people had been telling me the French's distate for Americans. (So not true! They appreciate it if you attempt to speak a little French, it makes things go smoother!) There was literally couples just making out in plain view, very funny. So we saw this guy walking around and we asked him where should we go. We end up at O'Sullivan's this Irish bar down the street, no cover charge and there was a DJ. Needless to say we livened up that place for the next three nights we were there in Paris! Afterwards we chilled in the room with the other people and he even escorted me back to my room. The next couple of days we're inseperable, taking a walking tour of Paris and being atop the Eiffle tower, which has to be the most romantic place ever!
Before you know it, it's time to go and we share information. I called him recently and we just talked and laughed. He also even offered for me to visit him in the summer down in Houston.
So...I know I should tread lightly because I hardly know the guy. But it's crazy how all this happend out of the blue! He's funny and makes me laugh, down to earth, and the easiest guy to get along with. He's mature, gets along with his family, established in life, etc. However I'm not going to be all crazy and proclaim him as my BF. I've decided to take it as it is. I don't know if he just wants to be friends or together and I want to be prepared for that. Nothing worse than me thinking we're a couple and getting a different answer. And if we do get together it's going to be hard to keep it together. A long distance relationship is hard work. Right now I'll take it step by step and see where it leads me. And stop overanalyzing. Right now. now. LOL

;-)

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 03:06:36 GMT

Life is good :-)

time to reflect...

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 00:45:57 GMT

This week, on no particular day, I was at home and watching VH1's the Last Days of Left Eye. She was talking about all the things she's done in her life--good and bad--and being in Latin America at that time. There was a lot of issues that she hadn't faced and she constantly wondered about where her life would take her and her own mortality. I believe that when people feel their time is coming to an end they come to an enlightment time. Just watching how peaceful and reflectful she was, it was scary thinking about all the signs that were there. One moment was when they were driving and a child accidentally jumped in front of the car and ended up brain dead. The child had died and the his last name was Lopes, the same as hers. She was shaken about it and it seemed so prophetic, ya know? Then there's this scene with her and her friends driving on the highway, them talking, exchanging cards and having a good time. Then next thing you hear is tires screeching and screams and I literally felt sick to my stomach. I was shocked that they actually showed that on tv, but it's a reminder of how quickly a life can go.....

Anyways, the situation that I'm currently in has clearned minorly so we'll see what happens...